


Pre Wedding Anxiety

by VoidLeviathan



Series: Coffee-Stained Books - Extra Bits [12]
Category: Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware, Half-Life
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Mentions of Car Accidents, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Worry, again i am SO bad at tags Im so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:20:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24484189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VoidLeviathan/pseuds/VoidLeviathan
Summary: Alyx has one groom to deal with, she sends Benrey to deal with the other.
Relationships: Barney Calhoun/Gordon Freeman, Gordon Freeman & Benrey
Series: Coffee-Stained Books - Extra Bits [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1768609
Kudos: 50





	Pre Wedding Anxiety

**Author's Note:**

> Beta reading doesn't exist for me but I did go through and fix what I could earlier after reading through it a few times. Unfortunately black on white messes with my eyes so I might not have gotten everything, but I will go back and try in a bit.

"Hey you good in here?"

Gordon jumped, looking up from his hands frantically to place who was talking to him. When his eyes landed in Benrey he huffed and immediately went back to sulking.

"What, first marriage jitters or something? That's not very 'Gordon' of you." Benrey chuckled a little, but Gordon didn't answer. Jeez this guy really was having a hard time wasn't he?

"Alright. I tried to be light about it, what's got you all frustrated Gord? Is it my shirt? I can change if you really need me to."

" _As ridiculous as your shirt is, its not the problem._ " Gordon sighed heavily. It only just hit Benrey that he wasn't even in his own suit. " _I think...I don't know…"_

"Scared?" 

That was the word. Scared. Doubtful. Anxious.

" _What if I lose him Benrey? What if...I don't know...what if something awful happens and it takes him away from me and I'm left alone to deal with the consequences of not having a chance to tell him what I wanted? What do I do then?_ "

"Oh...uh…" Benrey coughed, "Well...why are you even thinking about that on your wedding day? That's Pretty sucks, bro."

Gordon sighed again, heavier than the last.

" _Sorry I suppose you wouldn't understand._ " He sluggishly signed.

"Alright look." Benrey sat next to the groom, taking his hands in his own to force him to look at his face. Gordon was...crying? Gosh why did Barney decide to marry such a sap.

"What makes you think you're going to lose him? Something that happened years ago? Where is this all even coming from?"

" _I...I lost my parents in a really bad car accident._ " Gordon slowly signed. His hands were shaking as he explained. Benrey assumed it may have been caused by the crying. " _It was years ago. We were driving out to pick my brother up I think and...a sinkhole broke the road. They told me I was lucky to survive that kind of incident by some sick twist of fate._ "

"And you think that'll happen again?"

" _It can. It can and that's what scares me the most Benrey! The idea that I can lose Barney the same way I lost my parents. Maybe if I just don’t marry him he’ll be safe from that fate? I don’t know I just...I don’t want that to happen to him too. I don’t want to lose Barney._ "

"Okay dude you're going to have to slow down with the signs. Talkin' way to fast for my eyes to keep up."  
  
“I guess...I'm just scared Benrey...” Gordon manages to say. Actually speak his emotions without the use of signs. Like he seriously trusts Benrey with this situation and hopes he’ll understand. In some way Benrey sort of does.  
  
Not quite on the level of Gordon’s own situation, hes never lost someone like that in such a way, but enough of an understanding to see why he’d think he would lose Barney. Benrey himself felt that way when Barney had his first asthma attack. He seriously thought he was going to lose his brother until they found the problem.  
  
However Benrey wasn’t going to stand for Gordon feeling this way on their wedding day. He tried to think of something to help distract him and get him out of the always anxious mindset he’s seen Gordon in before.  
  
“Did Barney ever tell you about the time in high school when someone he really liked said hi to him and his response was immediately ‘Hi, I’m Gay!’ before he ran away? Its one of my clearest memories of him before I left. There was this other time Barney brought home a stray very clearly feral cat and cried when our parents wouldn’t let him keep it.” Benrey laughed thinking back on the memory. Barney really was always a crybaby as a kid. He never made fun of him for it though.  
  
“There was also uh...this time my little bro had his first asthma attack. It really scared me and I didn’t know what to do but...the next time he had one he joked about how he was going to steal my lungs if he had to deal with it again. It made us both laugh a lot and I think about it sometimes and wished maybe things could be like that again.”  
  
“ _Sounds like someone cares about Barney just as much as I do.”  
__  
_ “Surprise surprise I’m not as much of an asshole as you’d think. I’m trying to say you should live in the moment. Appreciate what you got now right? Why let your anxiety stop you when you can just have a little fun and live a little right now. Barney isn’t going to be lost any time soon and you shouldn’t let yourself tell you he will be.”  
  
“ _You sound like me._ ” Gordon smiled a little. A small, very smug sort of smile. It made Benrey laugh a bit more.  
  
“Yeah well if you tell anyone about this conversation I’ll tell them what you told Freeman the night he came to you about me.”  
  
“ _He told you about that? Actually...I’m not surprised. He likes to talk._ ” Gordon snorts, “ _Gotta remember not to tell him any of my secrets._ ”  
  
“Yeah yeah we can talk about Freeman and his terrible talking habits later. Right now I see someone who should be properly in his wedding suit by now, not here crying about something that probably won’t happen like a big ol baby. Now get off your ass Feetman, you got a wedding to get started.” 


End file.
